I hate Nataniël

It’s not just that creepily silky smooth head of his or his long black wizarding cape. It’s not even his horrendously nasal Afrikaans girl voice. No. It’s this damn SA Boerewors Competition. Someone really thought this was a good idea? Someone sat down and said “Yes, this is brilliant. We will get people to make their own boerewors. And to make it authentic we will give them a prize at the end so they don’t realise they’re in the lamest contest ever. This will take South Africa by storm. I’m going to be able to retire from the money I make off this.” And said person, actually thought their idea was good enough to tell someone else about it and pitched it to Shoprite. And rather than getting laughed out of SA and forced into hiding in, say, Zimbabwe, someone at Shoprite said “Yes! Let’s do it.” So they starts promoting. Can you make the best boerewors in South Africa? What about you, in the back? Or how about you, you fatty? Seriously. Who cares? And thousands of people saw this promotion and said “Yes I have to be a part of this. This is history in the making.” And then 17 years later (yes, that’s right, the competition has been going strong for 17 years) Nataniël said “I need to be involved in this. This will do wonders for my career.” And now every time I turn on the TV there is he in his little cape talking about boerewors.

Oh the horror.