Chuck. Blair. Serena. Dan. Nate. Jenny. Vanessa.

These are the names of some of my closest friends. They are all beautiful. They are fun. They are all rich. They are all fictional. They are all there when I need them, usually the week I have a gigantic assignment looming over my head.

It was bad enough having the series on my computer, thanks to friends in high places (i.e. university residences), but now it is being rerun on SABC 3 every week; Monday to Wednesday. Instead of working on important assignments, I am now waiting up so that I can have some quality time with Blair, Chuck, Jenny, Serena, Dan, Vanessa and Nate…oh and did I mention Chuck?

The question I keep asking myself is why? Why am I watching these reruns? Why do I find myself obsessing over these unrealistically beautiful high school students? And of course, why do I find the manipulating and slightly disgusting Chuck Bass ‘oh so very attractive’? I like to say it is because of the clothing, which is mostly true, who wouldn’t dream of owning some of Serena’s dresses and Chuck’s suits? If I’m really honest with myself, I realise that this slightly obsessive behaviour goes beyond clothing. I think that we can all admit that we are not only jealous of their clothing, but we are jealous of their (wait I see a list forming…)

· long, shiny, blond hair

· perfectly toned bodies

· glimmering eyes (due to immense amounts of makeup)

· flawless skin (due to immense amounts of makeup)

· endless supply of money

· teenage drama (that involves sex, drugs, affairs with married women)

· infinite wardrobes

· shoes

· bags

· school uniforms

· limousines

· Derota’s, drivers, doormen, etc.

· manipulation skills

· endless social events

We can’t help it, Gossip Girl has revolutionized television. A programme about teenagers has teens and adults; male and female, hooked. We are programmed to love them, to envy them, to know more about them, to wish we were them.

You know you love her

XOXO GOSSIP GIRL

I hate Nataniël

It’s not just that creepily silky smooth head of his or his long black wizarding cape. It’s not even his horrendously nasal Afrikaans girl voice. No. It’s this damn SA Boerewors Competition. Someone really thought this was a good idea? Someone sat down and said “Yes, this is brilliant. We will get people to make their own boerewors. And to make it authentic we will give them a prize at the end so they don’t realise they’re in the lamest contest ever. This will take South Africa by storm. I’m going to be able to retire from the money I make off this.” And said person, actually thought their idea was good enough to tell someone else about it and pitched it to Shoprite. And rather than getting laughed out of SA and forced into hiding in, say, Zimbabwe, someone at Shoprite said “Yes! Let’s do it.” So they starts promoting. Can you make the best boerewors in South Africa? What about you, in the back? Or how about you, you fatty? Seriously. Who cares? And thousands of people saw this promotion and said “Yes I have to be a part of this. This is history in the making.” And then 17 years later (yes, that’s right, the competition has been going strong for 17 years) Nataniël said “I need to be involved in this. This will do wonders for my career.” And now every time I turn on the TV there is he in his little cape talking about boerewors.

Oh the horror.

Italian Durbanville

La Masseria
Durbanville
Cape Town

OPERATING HOURS:
Tuesday - Saturday Lunch & Dinner Sunday Lunch
CLOSED: Sunday Evenings & Monday

Hidden in the northern suburbs, amongst all the suburban homes, I came across this wonderful taste of Italy. Not only did I find Italian cuisine, but also there was music, décor, and even an Italian man, singing in Italian. It was truly splendid. The Italian man is part of the Ciman Family, who started the restaurant in a ‘farmhouse’ (the meaning of La Masseria) in Durbanville. The food is all homemade and passed down from previous Ciman generations. To walk into a restaurant and feel transported to another world, to feel like all your worries and stresses have just disappeared, is a very rare feeling. Le Masseria has this very effect.

As I walk in, a man with a wonderfully big smile greets me. The front of houseman is a lovely and charismatic Italian gentleman; his sidekick (a Romanian) walks around merrily playing the accordion. They play at intervals during the night, the words to each of their songs, typed out and placed on every table. Customers are allowed to sing along, which is pretty fantastic for those of us who like karaoke. If he notices that you are a keen-bean then he might even bring the microphone round to your table and allow you to sing into it (My table was that table). The singing does not continue the entire night, you are encouraged to order food, wine, and be merry. Service is efficient, polite and the greatest part is that there is no hovering performed by the waiters.

The most important part is of course the food. For traditional flavours of the Italian cuisine and a true taste of European fine dining, La Masseria is a must. I chose to eat a pasta with basil and tomato sauce. Perfect for a less creamy, herbier, and filling pasta. My brother had butter-cooked prawns as a starter, which he described as a flavour explosion. His main meal was veal fillet, crumbed and sautéed in lemon and butter, topped with rosemary and served with summer veg. Described as exquisite taste and wonderful complimentary flavours. The plating is basic but effective. Think generous Italian portions.

Book shelves against walls, filled with books; paintings in giant wooden frames and antique furnishings complete the entire Italian experience. It truly feels like a little bit of Italy in the lovely Durbanville. For romantics it’s ideal, for those of us who just love trying new food its perfect.

Amazing food, brilliant ambience, and alluring décor make up the Italy that is La Masseria.

Website: http://www.lamasseria.co.za/

Kirstenbosch Summer Concerts

I love music. I love Cape Town. I love summer.

Put it together and you get the Kirstenbosch summer concerts. This year I was lucky enough to attend two of these events. Compared to previous years, this number has decreased, but considering the price hike, it is amazing that I was able to see even two on a student budget. The first one was aKing (pronounced “a” and then “King” – apparently this is how they prefer pronunciation); the second was the Dirty Skirts (or “the Filthy Frocks” as a close friend of mine likes to call them). To keep this short and simple, here are five reasons why should have been at these concerts.

aKing:

1. Bellville Afrikaans accents. They were everywhere. Some were funny, some were sexy (yes there are people out there that find this attractive), and some were weird and hard to understand. Regardless of the type, these local accents created an atmosphere unlike any other, an ambience that you will not find anywhere else, except maybe at a Jack Parow concert.

2. The Male in a skinny jean pant. Everyone was wearing them. On males and females alike. The male skinny jean was worn to the ankle or to the knee, either way they were so tight that little was left to the imagination, and breathing took some effort. The pant included leather shoes worn without socks, I repeat, without socks; this was to ensure what one calls ‘skinny foot’, a unique foot odour.

3. Sweat. Nothing is manlier than sweat, especially a sweaty rock star. You know you are getting your money’s worth when the lead singer is sweating profusely, and visibly due to extreme performance.

4. Catchy Songs. When it comes to aKing, their songs are the greatest to sing along too. The poetic lyrics and melodic tunes seem to put aKing ahead of the pack. The Dance was a particular favourite amongst the audience, who seemed to know every last word, including Laudo’s emphasis and accents.

5. Interesting fan boards. Towards the end of their set, the band looked down to the small group standing in front of the stage. They looked at a girl with a giant sign, looked at each other, and chuckled. Needless to say this annoyed us seated audience people who could not read the aforementioned sign. At the end of their song he read out the board, it said; “Please will you play at our wedding”. Much to my surprise Laudo told them to meet them at the end of the show. Jolly good show boys.

The Dirty Skirts:

1. Frocks. With it being summer, there were girls in lovely summer dresses, and boys in summery v-neck shirts. Everyone bopping and swaying. It made me feel like I was in a musical.

2. High School Groupies. It is true. No sooner had the band walked onto stage the shouting began, “Jeremy, Jeremy, Marry me, ah he’s so hot…” It was quite something.

3. Baby wearing earmuffs. This was the cutest thing I have ever seen. “While mom and dad are jamming, I will wear my earmuffs and move my body to the bass.” People were leaving their lavish picnic sites to get closer and take photos of this adorable little child.

4. Groupie Families. Mom, Dad, brother, sister; all wearing Dirty Skirts t-shirts, all singing along. True story.

5. Mass rush. The beginning of the song is unmistakable. The lyrics; “Time check / up and at ‘em /Best jocks / Comb locks / Don suit that fits / like a knife”. Homewrecker resulted in a mass rush to the front of the stage, I felt like I was in a music video, actually I wish I had videoed it. People were rushing from all over to get the front and jump up and down like loons. It was fantastic.

If you were there, hope this brings back glorious memories. If you weren’t I hope you feel like a fool. :)